“I’m going to miss you, Haru-chan,” Nagisa whispered, one day at the end of Haruka’s third year and his own second year of high school. He knew the other was only going to realize his new-found dream, he deserved to make it true. And yet, he had hidden those feelings for so long, he could not follow, not unless his life would make him wash ashore where the other was. He wondered how him, someone who was straightforward all the time, could have waited so long to try and start to change his relationship to Haruka. Probably because having no involvement in that sense would be better than ruining a friendship. And yet, one day he had taken all his courage in his hands, and offered his feelings to the blue-eyed boy he had admired since elementary school. And Haruka at first had reacted with surprise, uncertainty on how to react. He had never thought of Nagisa that way. Mostly, he had never thought about these things at all. And yet, Nagisa’s clumsy confession had shifted something, a sort of new rhythm for his heart to beat. Why not? He didn’t dislike Nagisa. He actually felt very strongly about the yonger, he just never noticed it particularly. Those were just seemingly random feelings among the sea of just as random sensations floating through him.

But in the end, he had accepted Nagisa’s feelings. In the end, the blond didn’t seem to expect anything. He just seemed to want to be honest. Slowly, in the next days, he observed the magenta of Nagisa’s eyes, the way it seemed to acquire a specific, unique quality any time their eyes would meet. It warmed his insides up, it was odd, confusing. But eventually, his mind would start wondering in moments where, in general, he would be focused.

Falling for Makoto would have made things so much simpler. Falling for Rin, too. But no, his brain had to complicate his thoughts even more, and his eyes would steal glances of Nagisa when he wasn’t looking.

And now he stole a kiss too, cupping the younger’s soft cheeks, closing his eyes while their warm breaths mixed up together, and he felt Nagisa tense up, only to melt in his hold, his fingers sneak slowly, quietly up his back and through his feathery, black hair.

But then Nagisa started crying, overwhelmed, sad, with his little heart breaking for the sadness and all the regret he had hidden behind gentle smiles.

“Let’s go to my place,” Haruka then said, looking down at him with a heavy hint of sadness in his ocean blue eyes. Nagisa looked up at him with bitter tears choking his view, but nodded, even though he had no idea what was happening. Their hands linked together, silently while the blond calmed down, drying his tears up. He was already seeing himself look at Haruka’s plane take off, but when they got to Haruka’s place he felt the older’s lips on his, erasing all thoughts from his mind like doodles from a piece of paper.

“Will we break up?” He asked, pleasantly trapped between Haruka’s body and the wall, with a photo frame pressing against his head, and yet he didn’t notice.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Haruka replied, seeming to be indecisive on what to do next. They were both new at this, despite the third year’s initial boldness. Nagisa smiled softly, with his tiny fingers tracing the other’s jawline and neck, and shook his head. “No, I don’t want to,” he replied, and gave Haruka a little smile. “I’d just miss you too much and I don’t know I could do it without actually seeing you. And I don’t want you to rethink the idea of competing, okay?” He added, with his fingers playing through the dolphin’s soft hair as he was enjoying touching him to remember how it would feel. Tokyo was not that far, but it was an entire new life. Maybe Haruka would meet new people, fall in love again. And who was Nagisa to step into that?

Nobody. But he felt important, crucial while Haruka’s lips touched his neck, his hands running through golden locks and his eyes being so deep Nagisa thought he would be able to dive right into them.

Their breaths twisted together again, while Haruka grabbed Nagisa’s wrists, pinning them to the wall above his head - but it didn’t hurt -, slowly, gently tasting the smaller’s lips, with silence surrounding them except for wet, quiet noises.

Nagisa’s head stopped hurting and it became light like a brightly colored balloon flying to the sky when he felt his skin being uncovered, his back hitting the wall again with cold shivers running up his spine. And yet it did not bother him, not really: he only felt like seeking for warmth, tying his arms around Haruka’s neck, but eventually he turned around. Chaotically they kissed even though to do so Nagisa had to twist his neck, while Haruka carefully prepared him to make love. And when the older did enter him, his whole body moved in waves, with every sensation expanding. A giggle escaped him when he randomly remembered their first encounter as kids, when he looked at Haruka like a hero, like a savior. And now he was already mourning him leaving.

“You’re giving me a good memory, aren’t you?” He asked, with a soft, bitterly soft voice. Haruka stopped for a moment, before kissing his shoulder.

“Yeah.”

Nagisa sniffled, nodding while closing his eyes. If that was the case, he was going to record every second in his mind, maybe to replay all these sensations when he would feel Haruka missing. To wrap his arms around himself and feel the rhythm of Haruka’s breath in his ear again. He smiled, despite everything, through all the messy panting and moaning coming from them. The knot tied in his chest came undone while Haruka burned into him, kissed his pain away, even just for a moment to grasp onto.

Haruka never left. Of course, he did fly away to Tokyo, but Nagisa felt his presence for days after that. His palms pressed on the glass as the plane took off. Of course he could not stop crying, and Rei was holding him close to try and comfort him, but Nagisa was not going to forget. He was going to send texts, snapchat, video call. Write letters. It was not going to end, not if they didn’t let it.

Haruka didn’t know whether to be happy or sad while watching the land get far from him, while Makoto sat next to him, so he just looked with both feelings mixing together, and the pilot’s voice being suffocated by loud music in his ears.