Titolo:  do you want to be with somebody like me?
Fandom: Free!
Personaggi: Nagisa Hazuki/Rei Ryuugazaki/Sousuke Yamazaki
Genere: angst, fluff
Avvertimenti: sequel, AU, in inglese, lime, threesome
Parole: 1846
Note: checcazzo, self. No vabbè lasciamo stare. Allora, questo è un sequel di questa fic della phoenix_bellamy che mi ha autorizzata a scrivere per il B.I.Bi.T.A. di maridichallenge. E... boh, io non dovrei scrivere di intelligenze artificiali perché 1. non ne so un cazzo a parte la roba sci-fi che ho visto, e 2. perché mi esce sempre tristerrima, mioddio. T_T comunque siccome è Nagisa, finisce anche abbastanza fluffosa. È qualcosa. o_o


His eyes open in the middle of the night, probably because of the halo of neon lights at three in the morning, coming from the street, other than the chatter and loud music, the same thumping and bumping beat coming from a disco down the street. But there is also the roaring sound of cars speeding across town as if they were racing, tires screeching when they stop, yelling from pretty much both ends of the way.
He rubs his eyes, a human habit he adopted after living among people for a few years, and learning to deal with them. That actually helps cleaning his cornea, and focus on the room around him. Ah, yes. Two bodies lying asleep, one on each side of him, he remembers. He is quite indifferent to the recorded memory playing on mute for him, in his internal hard disk. It does not come with sensations, but he knows behind him Ryuugazaki was thrusting inside of him, after spending quite a good amount of time teasing him with his long, slender fingers. He does not remember how that feels, but it must have been good, he thinks. And then, in front of him, was Sousuke kneeling on the mattress, fucking his mouth. He does not remember the taste, he only has a phantom sensation to his jaw, after keeping it open for quite an amount of minutes before the police officer came inside of it.
He sits up, looking down at himself. He is still covered in that sticky substance, and a little smile cuts through his face as he touches it, but then an urgent command forces him up on his feet. He needs to clean up. Slowly, not waking the other two up, he walks to the bathroom, just throwing one glance to the bed to make sure that he hasn't woken his clients up, and one to the mirror to assess just how disheveled he looks. The answer is, a lot. His hair is all messy, probably with semen spread through them as well, who knows. He does not know what disgust is, he was not programmed to feel it. He only knows he's supposed to look a certain way, and he does not right now. He knows he really should take a shower. As he does, he simply follows a set of movement and self-maintenance tips that were within him from the first moment he remembers being aware of the world around him. He does not think about it, it's too confusing. He knows the city is full of people who want to fuck him, because he is small and mischievous but harmless - unless someone tries to hurt him, in which case he switches to self-preservation mode, which he realized would turn him to a limb-tearing automaton until he assesses that danger is over. It only happened once. The second he switched back to work mode, as in the usual one, he found himself standing on top of an unrecognizable, bloody, dismembered corpse, a knife in its hand the only proof he was attacked first. Good thing it was enough.

After washing up, a part of his control center complains that he is not perfectly clean, but that is normal. After all, dust particles lie on him the moment he drops the towel, that cannot be helped, so he dismisses that alert almost without noticing it. Besides, he does not mind getting dirty. If anything, it would make him smell of something. Most sex droids find human scents an inconvenience, or they don't care, but he finds them all unique, and something that sets him apart from them. Something he wishes he knew, or had. Pretty much like everything else.
He does not know what melancholy is. He's just been feeling it a lot, lately, especially since he met officer Yamazaki and the Cellular and Molecular Biology researcher. They belong to such opposite worlds and fields, he almost smiles at the irony of having them both asleep in his usual hotel room, one curled up on his side, with his shoulder and chest lifting and lowering with each breath, the other lying on the bed belly down, lounging as if he was modeling for a painting, the sheet cutting Nagisa's view right on Ryuugazaki's lombar area. He sighs, and sits down with his legs crossed on the mattress.
Nagisa does not know what melancholia is, only because he does not have a term for it. But it fills him up, when the only kind of sounds he hears are all from the outside, while he observes every movement coming from the living beings in front of him. Not only his status and purpose cuts him off from reaching out to them, but their very essence as well. Yes, it's useless to think much about it, he's an android and they're actual people, it's no use giving it much thought. But he wishes he could remember how things feel. He only experiences stimuli when they are provoked, and then he only has images and sounds. Being as enthusiastic and curious as he is, it seems to bother him a lot, when he asks questions and the answer makes no sense.
Of the outside world, he can only see the first, most immediate layer. In a place filled with people, he cannot understand any of them. But they are so beautiful. It makes him frustrated, it makes him look for more answers, and the more he gets lost trying to understand, the more he realizes he and the world speak two different language without translations or explanations, and some things are dogma. Why people feel the need for things like him is the only answer he has. According to his most basic knowledge, that is all he needs to understand. But, looking at the two people sleeping with blue and then red and then violet light hitting their skin softly, wouldn't it be awesome if he knew more?

The morning comes, and his night thoughts get interrupted by a yelp. He looks over, calmly - something that mild is not worth of switching to self-preservation mode - and smiles automatically at Rei, who woke up with the android staring in a slightly creepy fashion at him and Yamazaki.
"Goodmorning, Rei-chan," he chirps, still naked. It's cold, but he does not mind. He likes being undressed, after all that is how he is most of the time, and when he fulfills his purpose...
"Ah, hello, Nagisa-kun. It's unnerving to know you were looking at us sleep," Rei replies, before yawning.
"Why?" Nagisa asks, frowning just a little, jolted to curiosity.
"Well... it just is. I guess when we sleep, we're vulnerable and... it's just not right for people to look at you when you sleep," Rei replies rubbing his own eyes. He has to go, but asking how much he should pay - since he's the one paying - right away seems rude. Why he even bothers being nice to an android, someone else would ask it, but he would find it ugly of him to bring money up in the morning. Especially since Nagisa looks so sad.
"Oh," Nagisa replies, quite satisfied by the explanation. Still... "I wouldn't have hurt you, so there's no need to feel threatened..." He comments, while he looks at Rei getting up.
"Yeah... well... it's just unsettling," the other replies, scratching his head.
'Just'. That sort of answer is so unsatisfying. 'It's just like that'. He is an AI, he should simply accept some things just are. He stills there, once again rolling the answer in his mind.
"It has a lot to do with trust and how close people are, I guess," Rei continues, seeing his response is bothering the android. "It's not my field, though, psychology."
Trust and closeness, then. Nagisa is a little bit more satisfied. He smiles, and nods.
"Could you and Sou-chan become close to me and trust me, one day, then?" He asks, despite himself and the boundaries set on him. Emotional honesty is something he learnt with curiosity, and interacting with humans, after all.
Rei blinks and the question, stopping halfway from wearing his shirt, and then looks at Nagisa.
"Well... I guess that would be nice, yes," he replies, not thinking much of it. But the joy in Nagisa's expression hits him, really hard.
It's the most human thing he's seen in that face since he knows the android.
"Really? So then I could look at you sleep without making you feel threatened!" Nagisa chirps, bouncing on the bed.
"What the fuck is going on?" A grumble comes from behind him, now that his body rotated to follow Rei's movements. His head turns, and he also smiles the same automatic smile when he sees Yamazaki opened his eyes.
"Goodmorning, Sou-chan! Rei-chan just said we're going to be close and he'll trust me. Do you want to be close and trust me too?" He asks, bouncing again.
"I think he wants us to be friends," Rei helps, slipping his trousers on.
"Huh... friends? Uh, whatever, okay," Sousuke mumbles, looking around and stretching up. What he does not expect is being hit to the chest, before realizing Nagisa is hugging him. He simply wraps his arms around him as well, because... what else could he do?
"Friends," Nagisa repeats, after lettingh him go. "I know 'friends'. But those are the people who find me clients... they are not clients."
"Well, I guess they would say they're your friends, but it sounds like a pimp to me," Sousuke considers, sighing. "Do they treat you well?"
Nagisa tilts his head. "I don't see them much," he replies, and the silence after it suggests him somehow that was a wrong answer, but it was the real one as well. It's probably something else he cannot understand.
"Yeah, we'll be your friends. Friends aren't supposed to fuck, though," Sousuke adds, already weirded out by interacting with Nagisa. Which happens on the regular, to be clear, but usually not that early.
Nagisa has a lot of whys, but that would entail explaining why he's asking the questions, and he does not know. He still has a lot to piece together before asking. But maybe he could learn, now that he has questions.
"Yeah, it's not... customary," Rei helps, grabbing his wallet. "Maybe we should be something else instead."
Both Sousuke and Nagisa look at him, the first already shaking his head in disbelief other than confusion, the other with simple curiosity.
"Let's do this another time, okay? Possibly when I don't have to go to work," the first replies, also starting to get dressed. It's normal for Sousuke to be grumpy in the morning, Nagisa learnt.
"Okay," Nagisa replies, cheerful. He can wait to ask a lot of questions. Maybe they'll receive an answer, finally, and maybe he won't be so... alone, anymore. Plus, he waited so much, he can calm his thoughts and wait to see them again.
When he gets dressed again, today he is not that empty after all.